Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sunday of Joy

It doesn't feel like Sunday. First, because I slept in until 10:59 and figured I wasn't going to make that 11 a.m. church service, and second because my weekend extends til Wednesday. I'm glad I don't have to brave the snow tomorrow at 7:45 for finals, and I'm surprised the school hasn't altered its finals schedule like other colleges in the area.

I've had a great day just lounging around inside watching the snow and beginning to pack. Snow makes me happy. Being alone makes me happy for the most part. I'm an introvert.

Being happy isn't the same as feeling joy though. Joy is higher, lighter, brighter than happy. I haven't felt joy in a long, long time. I used to feel joy every time we kissed after a long absence. I used to feel joy when I thought about how great our future would be. Now, I'm trying to find something in my life that will bring joy again, be a job, or something new, or someplace new, or someone new. I want to light up and smile for no reason and dive passionately into whatever it is that brings joy.

And yes, Christmas/Christ does bring me joy too, especially during this season of snow and candles and pretty songs. Joy to the world should the world accept it.

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