Something Just Broke

It was Epiphany. I had just blessed my house. I was thinking about writing about the season.

But then, like everyone, I was glued to the screen as insurrectionists broke into the Capitol building while Congress was in session. It was hard at the time to get good footage or understand exactly what was happening. But it was clear something broke within us a country.

I believed in the exceptionalism of our peaceful democracy. I believed in the strength of our security. Even after everything in the past years, I still believed somewhere deep down that it couldn’t happen here. And all that shattered.

Everyone wants to talk about how divided we are, and we are, but now there is one thing we agree on: this isn’t over. They’ve seen what they can get away with, with minimal repercussions if any. They will try again—smarter, more organized, and more armed than flag poles and undetonated pipe bombs.

Words become thoughts become actions. Those that fed people a diet of fear-mongering and lies act surprised when the people take action. But it was bound to happen. They’ll try to deflect (it was false flag actors) or walk back their words (we only support the peaceful protesters). It’s too late, Pandora.

Words [all from Trump’s speech right before the riot on Jan. 6]: “Our country has had enough. We will not take it anymore, and that is what this is all about.”

 “…using the pretext of the China virus and the scam of mail in ballots, Democrats attempted the most brazen and outrageous election theft. And there's never been anything like this. It's a pure theft in American history.”

“Our media is not free, it's not fair. It suppresses thought. It suppresses speech, and it's become the enemy of the people. We will not be intimidated into accepting the hoaxes and the lies that we've been forced to believe.”

“They want to indoctrinate your children. It's all part of a comprehensive assault on our democracy and the American people are finally standing up and saying no.”

“…something is wrong here, something is really wrong, can't have happened and we fight, we fight like hell, and if you don't fight like hell you're not going to have a country anymore.”

Become thoughts: There was an elaborate conspiracy to steal the election. We are an injured party that can’t trust the system. We can’t trust what we hear and see on the news, only what our leader tells us. We have to fight. We have to lead a revolution to take the country back. They forced us to this point.

Become actions: rioting, violence, Molotov cocktails, “murder the media” carved on the Capitol doors, a gallows erected on the lawn, pipe bombs and zip ties brought into the Capitol to enact “justice.” Five dead.

It’s going to happen again. There have been events at state Capitols in Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Georgia. It’s escalating. It’s continuing. I don’t know when/where/how or if we’re able to stop it. How do you rebottle a genie you didn’t even release?

And yet the world continues on. Everyday life looks the same for most of us. There’s still a pandemic. And work and school and bills and meals and holidays and appointments and all the mundane tasks that suddenly feel a bit heavier. We freeze for a moment, but then we have to continue on, because what else is there? We pray for some resolution, for some solace, for enlightenment and truth and an end to all violence. And we keep praying when we feel as if those prayers are going unanswered.

The country isn’t divided; it’s shattered. This week feels like when a child first realizes the world is complex and unfair and that adults don’t have all the answers. It wasn’t the epiphany I wanted.