Wednesday, May 11, 2011

No Faking Faith

Back on Palm Sunday I wrote about Thomas and his doubt. I since then read this quote (which was attributed to Ray Hollenbach)and immediately thought, "Yes, that's what I enjoy about Thomas' story!"

"Thomas taught me that there are worse things than doubt. He taught me it’s OK to be the downer in the group, and if the group doesn’t like it, that’s mostly their problem. Thomas taught me that my doubts belonged to me, and I had no business trying to sell other people my doubt any more than I should try to sell people my favorite doctrines. Thomas taught me it’s OK to be myself, as long I as I wasn’t a jerk. Most of all Thomas taught me you can be unflinchingly honest and still get face-time with Jesus."

It's natural to doubt at times. And it's alright to be honest with God about it (I mean, He's going to know anyway). Deal with the doubt. Talk to God about it, talk with a mentor or close friend about it, but don't talk to everyone about it. It's not your place to poke holes in other people's faith. I've found a peace in embracing that I have some doubt and some unresolved questions. It doesn't shatter my whole belief system. And it gives me something to talk to God about. I ask Him lots of questions, mainly for the sake of asking more than expecting resolutions. I think He approves that I care enough to ask, even if He's also thinking, "Geez, Emily, stop questioning so much and put more into faith." Yes, I know I should do that, but God knows I'm imperfect and working on it. No sense hiding the work in progress from Him.

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