As Holy Week begins, I’ve been reflecting back on last year when I joined the Church. I was excited and nervous. I felt prepared but immature. I’ve been on a journey of faith, learning a lot about me and God and relationship and existence. In the past year, I’ve learned the importance of having an all-encompassing philosophy. And it’s been an educational journey too. I know the difference between modalism, Arianism, and the Trinity. I know the difference between abstinence and chastity. I know the difference between abstinence (the other kind) and fasting. I know the difference between veneration and worship. The faith and education are intertwined. I know the difference in experiencing the Father, Son, and Spirit, but I’m not sure if it comes from clearer understanding the Trinity or from mystical experience. Probably both.
But still, the best things can’t be defined without being watered down or turned into metaphor, such as prayer or salvation or adoration or joy. And that’s been the biggest change to me since joining the Church. I feel joy in worship. I experience God in a more powerful way than I ever did. I feel like I’m where I belong, expressing myself in the way I was always meant to. I found my spiritual home. It’s joyous.