There are times when I feel like Hannah in the Temple. Alone
and emotional and crying at God. I’ve had several of these Hannah moments, and
she’s become by favorite woman of the Old Testament. Her faithfulness is
admirable. Her anguish is relatable.
But lately I’ve also started to think of Eli. He is
well-regarded, wise, faithful. But he failed Hannah in her moment of pain. He
sees only a crazed woman disrespecting the sacred space. He doesn’t see her
pain. Instead, he accuses her of being drunk. And I can’t help but think part
of his judgment comes from her being a woman, and a childless woman at that.
She’s no one important. What concern is her spiritual struggle?
Hannah confronts him clearly: “But Hannah answered, ‘No, my
lord, I am a woman deeply troubled; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink,
but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. Do
not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for I have been speaking out of
my great anxiety and vexation all this time’” (Samuel 1: 15-16). Eli realizes
his error and prays that Hannah’s petitions be granted.
When Hannah has Samuel and dedicates him to the Temple as
she promised, she recites what is called Hannah’s Song and what is a
prefigurement of Mary’s Magnificat. Her prayer is considered a role model of
prayer in Judaism and read during Rosh Hashanah. It’s beautiful and uplifting.
Yet I still identify most with Hannah in her low moment.
They are moments of frustration and exhaustion and emotionality. But they are
raw and real and healing. The communication with God is full of gripes and
tears, but it’s still communication. It’s better to be in the Temple acting
like a hot mess than not in the Temple at all.
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