The Prince of Peace in a Pile of Rubble

At Christ’s birth, angels proclaimed peace on earth. The entrance antiphon of the Christmas vigil proclaims: “Today true peace has come down to us from heaven.”

But the world doesn’t feel very peaceful. I’ve mostly stayed away from the news in recent weeks. I try to stay afloat of the broader things going on in the world so that I’m informed, but I’m also trying not to get bogged down by all the details. Because the news can be depressing. There is so much war and cruelty. I feel I have an obligation to be aware, to counteract and combat the evil in the world. But I also know that sometimes wallowing in the awfulness does nothing more than eliciting despair.

All that to say, I know the situation in the Middle East awful and complex. I know there have been a lot of moving pieces in weeks since the Oct. 7 attacks. I was cautiously optimistic when there was a temporary ceasefire and some of the hostages were released. But I’ve mostly been cynical that there is swift, diplomatic outcome. There are deep, deep hostilities at play, and deep financial players backing both sides. That little strip of land seems to have never known peace.

The Invitation Written in the Heart

I’d recently been struggling with feelings of belonging and sense of community. I was in some dark places, spiritually. Why can’t I ever feel like I fit in? Why do I struggle so hard to find deep connection? Why do I want it so badly?

There’s a lot to unpack with all I’ve been going through. But the first moment of comfort came at an Advent retreat discussing the yearning of the human heart.

We are meant to desire more. We are built for community and connection. And we are built for being in a relationship with God. The human heart will always yearn for that. That (sometimes painful) feeling of un-satisfaction comes from the world being unsatisfactory. We are broken and sinful. The world offers millions of distractions to keep us from exploring that yearning feeling. We’re told to find quick fixes, chase hedonistic instincts, dull any pain. We want to shake off that inner feeling that there should be more.

It’s Not Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas

I’m not putting up a Christmas tree this year. No day set aside for forgettable movies in the background while I scratch my arms on plastic needles and figure out why the middle string of lights don’t work. No second day set aside in January to take it all down again and have the room looking empty. No finding needles from the Jesse tree all over the house. No remembering to turn on or off lights or worrying about breaking precious ornaments or going through the holiday routines that no one but me would see. Other than the Advent wreath and the stack of presents on a side table, my house doesn’t look Christmasy at all. And I’m really ok with that.

I thought maybe as Christmas got closer I’d have more of an urge for decorations. But I haven’t. Christmas is still coming. I’m looking forward to the holiday and to the time off work, but I’m also sitting in Advent, reflecting, and not in an overly eager anticipation.