Oh, a Rerun

Do angels get exhausted? I suspect my guardian angel must get exhausted, watching me cycle through the same problems over and the over—the same doubts, the same frustrations, the same sins, the same promises to makes changes and do better, and the same fall back into habits within days. Poor angel. I’m tired of me too.

At times I feel like such a failure, in specific ways and goals, but also in the fact that I find myself in these patterns, over and over. Am I stubborn or lazy or foolish? Why can’t I break the cycle? Why can’t I improve? Shouldn’t sincere contrition lead to change?

I keep getting frustrated at myself. But maybe that is a good sign. I keep wanting to improve. I keep making promises with sincere intention. I haven’t given up. The sticky, black cloud wants to take away all motivation and hope. But I promise, over and over, that I’ll do better. And I try. And some days I do better. And some days I fail. But usually I still believe in a future when I’ll figure it all out, when I’ll be a better person, or when I’ll at least have moved on to different problems. Surely that hope counts for something.

Hang in there, angel. I’ll keep trying.

St. Marguerite D’Youville

Marguerite Dufrost de La Jemmerais was born in Varennes, Quebec on Oct. 15, 1701. She studied under the Ursulines. In 1722, she married Francois D'Youville, a bootlegger and fur trader. They had six children. In 1730, Francois died. Marguerite was left to support herself and her two surviving children, but also devoted a lot of her time to charity.

In 1737, she founded the Sisters of Charity, called the Grey Nuns, along with three others. In 1747 she was appointed Directress of the General Hospital in Montreal. The Grey Nuns established schools, hospitals, and orphanages throughout Canada.

Marguerite died on Dec. 23, 1771 at the General Hospital. She is the patron for widows, difficult marriages, and parents who lose young children. Her feast day is Oct. 16.

She was the first native-born Canadian to be declared a saint when canonized by Pope John Paul II in 1990.

Does It Ever End?

Conflict broke out between Israel and Palestine over the weekend. It’s such a tragic, complicated mess. There are the decades of official and unofficial provocations from both sides. During the recent feast of Sukkot, thousands of ultranationalist Jews had been storming the Al-Aqsa Mosque, also known as Temple Mount. Muslims were prevented access to the site. This conflict regular arises around the holy sites around feast days.

Things heavily escalated when Hamas, which currently has political leadership Palestine, unleashed ground troops and rockets on Saturday, attaching Israel from Gaza. Within hours, Israel responded with jet strikes and a declaration of war. Hundreds of civilians on both sides have been killed. More than 150 Israeli civilians have been taken hostage. Israel has threatened to cut off food and water to the Gaza Strip. Tens of thousands have fled their homes.