Lately the vitriol of the abortion debate has been amplified.
Liberal states are passing laws loosening abortion restrictions. Conservative
states are passing laws with more restrictions. Liberals complain that
conservatives don’t care about women. Conservatives complain that liberals don’t
care about preborn children. Both are right.
Some of the restrictions are being made into law solely for
the purpose of working up the court systems in attempts to overturn Roe v.
Wade. So many people have bought into the idea of “making abortion illegal at
all cost.” It’s why so many Christians vote for Republicans who claim to be
prolife. It’s why they overlook the moral, intellectual, and political failings
of a president who promises to appoint prolife judges. It’s why they support
questionable judicial appointments and decisions as the courts situate
themselves to take on an abortion case in the near future. Abortion is the
worst crime, they believe. The ends justify the means.
As someone who considers herself prolife, this attitude is
sickening. It’s not a prolife attitude, which should be keeping the dignity of
human life at the forefront of actions. It’s political posturing, manipulating
a large base of people for votes to pass dubious measures on other issues, like ruining the environment and funneling money to the wealthy.
This focus on stopping the legality of abortion rarely
focuses on actually stopping abortions. Where is the concern for women in such crises
that they believe abortion is a solution? Pregnancy is difficult—emotionally,
financially, and physically. We have to address those needs. We have to
acknowledge the burden of growing a human inside of you takes and support those
women. With counseling, financial support, and medical care. We have to hold
fathers accountable to their children. We have to have a strong, compassionate
foster system and make adoptions cheaper. We have to raise the children of our
village, ensuring no mother thinks her child would be “better off” if he’d
never been born.
Without addressing the mothers, laws protecting the preborn
aren’t prolife. They are manipulative, sexist laws that offer no reform or
hope. I’ve seen lawmakers and prominent prolife speakers refer to mothers as
the “space” where the preborn are, the “vessels”, or “carriers.” The womb
becomes a room detached from a human body. A womb is part of a woman’s body.
The baby inside the womb is his own little person. There are two bodies, two
people, involved. The mother is fully human, not a space. The child is fully
human, not a parasite or clump of cells. Avoiding one person to stand up for
the other is not compassionate, from either side.
It is inconvenient in our society that women carry the burden
of childbirth. Hell, it’s always been inconvenient. Pregnancy is dangerous.
Women have always been the ones to bear that burden. It doesn’t fit nicely into
our ideas of what a fully egalitarian, efficient society looks like. We want to
children to pop up into being, into homes that want them and can afford them,
without any problems—physical, mental, emotional, financial. We want the child
to not put strain on the mother’s body, to not disrupt her career, to not
jeopardize her relationship or her financial situation or her plans. But is that
realistic? Do we want it to be?
Do we really want a world where a child’s presence makes no
difference, no impact? Where parenthood requires no responsibility, no
patience, no sacrifice? Where a growing family doesn’t make us grow as people?
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t work to make parenthood easier, especially
unplanned pregnancies. But I am saying there is good that comes from children
who are unwanted. And it is good if a society values each person, even if that
requires some sacrifices. Since a mother, because of biology, must bear the
child, then her community should acknowledge that sacrifice, ease any pains as
much as possible, and embrace mother and child regardless of circumstance.
Instead of only having children who are wanted, what if we
learned to want every children there is? It takes more time and money than an
abortion, and the failure rate is higher, but it’s the humane approach. Humane
approaches are missing from both sides of the debate. There are people on the
ground doing that work, at pregnancy centers, with parenting classes, by
adopting children, etc. But that’s not reflected in the discourse and the laws.
And so we pettily yell back and forth at each other, convincing no one that the
other side actually cares about people.
I’m against abortion. I wish it didn’t exist. I wish women
had options that suited their struggles and situations while also preserving
their child’s life. I wish no woman ever felt so hopeless that abortion seemed
like a solution. I’m disheartened by the rhetoric that refuses to acknowledge
that a child’s life is ended in abortion, that fails to see life in its most
fragile form. But I’m also disheartened by the rhetoric that refuses to
acknowledge the burden of mothers or show compassion toward women in crisis,
that would rather punish women instead of help them.
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