The Person Behind the Mask

I’m so tired. More than ever the hatred I see from people online is wearing on me. People I’ve known my own life spouting dangerous conspiracy theories. Friends I sit beside in church supporting racist, sexist, fascist ideologies. Pride and ignorance flaunting health precautions. Fear and arrogance claiming false propaganda as truth. There is so much wrong in the minds of these acquaintances that it hurts.

I’m struggling so hard to love. I know I should respond in compassion and charity. Arguments don’t work; they will just dig in deeper. You can’t logic your way out of something you didn’t logic your way into. To them, I am part of the evil globalist state, a brainwashed coward capitulating to fear. My words have no weight in argument. So what can I possibly say?

In most cases, I have decided it is not my fight to fight. I do not want to stay silent, but I must choose my battles, especially when they wear on me so. I’m not crusading in the forums, patiently laying out facts and data and expert opinions that will just be ignored. But in each brief interaction, each scroll through, each time I click “read more,” I open myself to danger.

I judge. Quickly, harshly. How can they be so stupid? Why can’t they see the truth? Where is their compassion? But where is mine? I struggle to separate the person from his toxic, dangerous mindset, to see the scared, lost child of God behind the racist comment and anti-mask meme. I think of the dangers their ideology has in affecting society, but I also need to remember to dangers their ideology has in their hearts. They are victims of their own toxic ideas too. It’s rotting their hearts and keeping them from loving their neighbors.

How do you show compassion to someone threatening society? How do you love someone promoting hate? How do you forgive someone who does not apologize or change their ways? Arguing won’t persuade them. And maybe loving them won’t either. But love will help me. My attitude matters, even if I’m the only one affected by it as I silently scroll and judge.

God has not abandoned me when I have fallen so, so short. He loves me when I’m arrogant, ignorant, dangerously wrong, and quick to judge. Redemption cannot happen without love. And we all can be redeemed.

Our leaders have chosen hate and contempt. Dividing the people into strongly defined camps. It is “us” good guys versus “them” bad guys who want to control you. Even our church leaders taut this divide. We’re warriors in a culture war; “they” are the enemy to defeat.

But they aren’t the enemy. They are children of God, caught up in just as much fear. Their ideologies deserve contempt. Their policies deserve push back. The fight is against ignorance and immorality, not people. And it’s so, so hard to love people who are wishing me ill, who are saying lies about me, who are dismissing my words as harmful. Yet we are not called to love those who it is easy to love; we are called to love our enemies, to see the human behind the ideology as a brother.

It is a dark, scary time. And I’m shaken and stressed at how many people I know refuse medical advice or dismiss violence or promote conspiracies or laud tyrants. I do not understand. I have tried to understand and failed. It is so easy to judge and hate. But I cannot descend into dark anger like them. I may not convince them to change, but I can try to change my reaction. I can try to forgive. I can try to love. And when I fail, I can ask God for His grace and try again.